4.27: "Divas" aka "A Battle of the Crazies, Pt. 1"

Okay, so some director who's supposed to be world famous (for being good and for sleeping with his leading ladies, natch) comes to CU to direct a play.  Spelling Entertainment gets across the notion of "famous and important to the stage" by giving this dude, Roy Randolph, a British accent and a kicky mustache.  Brenda, of course, has to try out for Maggie (they're doing Cat on a Hot Tin Roof), and in growing attempts to patch things up with Brenda, Kelly insists on helping her rehearse, only to try out for the lead herself.  Suzanne meets some dude who later on screws Dylan out of his inheritance, Claire - the Chancellor's daughter - continues her obsessive stalking of Brandon.  (So weird that she wants Brandon and ends up with...Steve?!?!)  And Andrea thinks she's dying or some shit like that.

"DIVAS" - Original Airdate: April 20, 1994

When a renowned director comes to campus to stage a play, Kelly helps Brenda prepare to audition for the main role, but the director wants Kelly to read for the lead.  Andrea worries that something is wrong with her pregnancy.

• Ahhhhhahahahaha, Brenda's using a microfiche machine!  That is hilarious!  Remember those?
• Of course Dylan saw Roy Randolph's Broadway production of Streetcar Named Desire.
• Brenda reminds Dylan of a pre-Richard Burton Elizabeth Taylor.
• Oooh, foreshadowing: Erica is into conspiracy theories.
• Andrea is as big as a house.
• The female half of the gang formed a "sorority" to keep in touch after high school.  Of course they did.
• They girls invite Erica to be in their sorority.
• Claire's dressed in a classic grunge princess getup: beaded necklace, gelled hair, oversized leather jacket, black jumper...of sorts...and black tights and combat boots.
• Oh, and she speaks French.
• Suzanne's boyf is so gross.  Definitely in the Chester the Molester line-up.
• Jim and Cindy are going to the Springs of Palm AGAIN.
• Uhh, excellent Southern accent, Brenda.
• Steve's cutting down on "the booze and the babes."
• Enter Crazy #1: Laura Kingman is back.
• Steve stumbles upon Laura screaming - ahem, rehearsing - in her dorm room.  And then she hits on him.  Obviously.
• She's counting on landing the lead in the play to change her life.
• Samantha Sanders was the lead in the play before she became famous.
• So, Steve is now going to coach Laura.  This plan is airtight.
• Donna got a puppy for her and David and it lives at the beach house.
• Roy Randolph likes Maggie "fetching, love-starved, and dangerous."  Brenda lays on the praise thick and gives him The Eye.
• "Nothing should inhibit the moves of a dangerous woman." -Roy Randolph
• Suzanne gets Dylan to convince Erica to like Kevin, her Chesterly boyfriend.
• Steve is wearing jeans shorts.
• Brenda encourages Kelly to audition for a small part in the play.
• I always forget Dylan and Kelly are still together.  He spends all his time with his fucking "sister" and her wild-haired, conniving mother.
• Brandon tells the Chancellor while Claire is listening in that he has the house to himself for the weekend.
• Brandon's involved in this ridiculous "task force" thing ... I don't know.  Jason Priestly has Senator fantasies, we get it.
• Laura has a serious case of the crazy eyes.
• And she rubs up on Steve and tries to make out with him.  This girl is WACKO with a J, to steal a phrase from Mr. Sanders.
• Donna and David's puppy is named "Rocky."
• Andrea rips Jackie Taylor's maternity dress when she tries it on and David goes, "Ooooh, a little too tight."  Smooth.
• Kelly makes a big dramatic entrance to auditions.
• And Roy Randolph's stage manager is a jovial old man who says every day above ground is a good day for him.
• "All I need out of life is a rehearsal studio and a bedroom, preferably attached." -Another great from Roy Randolph (allegedly, according to Brenda).
• Clare shows up at Casa Walsh with an overnight bag to stay the weekend.
• Clare is into "sex, rock, [and] really decent literature."  So maybe she's not half bad.
• Clare is dancing sexily whilst listening to a Walkman.
• Kevin reminds Erica of John Wilkes Booth's getaway driver.
• Roy Randolph remembers Brenda Walsh.
• You can see the jealousy rising in Laura's eyes.  Tyra would love Laura's eyes.  Very expressive.
• Laura overhears Roy and his stage manager yukking it up about how hot Brenda is.
• Brenda does some pretty funny Southern accent screaming.
• Steve has a Gameboy!
• Clare, according to Brandon, "has the body of a centerfold and the personality of a volcano."
• Holy shit, Clare has a fully on a black lace teddy.  With a backwards newsboy cap and combat boots.
• And then she handcuffs herself to Brandon's bed.
• He is such a Boy Scout.  He leaves her and goes to the library.  I know someone like that.
• Eddie is the name of Roy Randolph's stage manager.
• Roy Randolph hits on Kelly and asks her to audition for the lead.
• Donna is an idiot.  But we knew that.
• Ha!  Clare is a true Cosmo girl.
• According to the doctor, Andrea's mother's instinct doesn't work and nothing is wrong with her baby.
• Yikes.  Side view of Andrea.
• Uh-oh.  Kevin found Dylan's weak spot: surfing.  Now he's going to use that information to steal his inheritance.   Dylan, don't be a fool!
• Dylan, uh, saves Kevin's life when he nearly steps in front of a bus.  It's awkward.
• Laura, Kelly, and Brenda got call backs for Maggie.  Crazy Queen Laura heard Kelly's the front-runner.  And tells Brenda that Kelly went out for coffee with Randolph after the audition.  Brenda does her best "WHAT?!"  I love that tone.

Stay tuned for Part II...

Go Bills.