This is a classic 90210 episode - possibly the best there is; if not, definitely in the Top 5. This is one of those episodes you watch, sigh, and think: “I wish my life was like that.” Yes. Simple, pure, doing it in a hotel room upstairs from a school dance. It doesn’t get much more romantic than that.
From the back of the case:
“SPRING DANCE” - Original Airdate: May 02, 1991
The drama and the stakes rise as the West Beverly High crew gets ready for their Spring Dance.
Brenda loses her virginity to Dylan; Kelly confesses her love for Brandon; and David wins the dance contest and the right to dance with the spring queen. First of all, let’s stop right there: David wins the right to dance with the spring queen? Doesn’t that sound awkward? Semantics aside, it’s like she’s one hot commodity. And if I know anything about West Bev, I would put money on Kelly being that hot commodity (even if I hadn’t already seen the episode). So anyway, basically, everyone’s all revved up because the big spring dance is coming up. Andrea, in her typical obnoxious big glasses-wearing way, makes this big fuss about how school dances are antiquated and only cease to exist to perpetuate the male-dominated society or some BS she cooked up like that. Just hop into a women’s lib class in any college across America and they’ll probably churn out what Andrea had to say about the dance. Anyway, the salient feature of this episode, however, is that Brenda finally does the dirty dirty with Dylan. That boy is a saint for waiting that long for her. I mean, seriously, would Dylan McKay in real life ever have not dumped her? I guess, um, love knows no boundaries?
Let the capricious criticism begin.
• Wow, Scott actually is credited in the opening credits here? That’s surprising. ”Douglas Emerson” (Scott Scanlon, David’s bff before he got cool) will teach everyone an important lesson about gun safety sometime next season.
• Ew. Spring apparently makes Steve super-horny.
• Suddenly there’s some new “hot chick” aside from Kelly? WTF? Who the hell is Darla Dillard and why do we care about her? She is not in the gang; therefore, she does not matter. According to Steve she has a thing for him.
• Also according to Steve, “The dance is only an excuse to get a room!” Class-y.
• Ahhh, David’s radio show. How quaint. What the hell is he wearing? I will try to get a picture to share the experience with you.
• Andrea’s never known a spring princess before (Kelly is one of four Spring Princesses who are in the running for Spring Queen). Big shocker there.
• The writers here clearly have never talked in real life before. ”So, are you going to the school dance?” is not a question that is uttered outside of a juvenile television sitcom/drama.
• Oh Andrea and your Second Wave Feminism.
• Darla pets Steve. And then he asks her to go to with him to the dance - but not without going somewhere “terminally hip” for dinner. Aiyaiyai.
• WHY ARE THEY FRIENDS WITH ANDREA?! Moment #1. Brenda’s trying to convince Andrea to ask Brandon to the dance. WHY? SHE IS NOT COOL. IN ANY SENSE OF THE WORD.
• “Dating’s your life,” says Brandon to Kelly. ”I know. But of all the guys at Beverly or West Beverly, I’ve either dated them or they’re taken.” That is…definitely something to broadcast, Kelly.
• Haha. Steve gets stuck taking Donna to the dance. I had forgotten about that. And Donna, for being one of the popular girls, gets surprisingly flustered when Steve asks her. You’re friends, why are you being retarded? It’s not like you have any kind of sexuality.
• Oooooh, burn. Andrea finds out about Kelly and Brandon going together and she is piiiiiiissed. Sorry Andrea, Brandon won’t be coming over to your lame-ass house on Saturday to watch movies and pretend to be cool because you didn’t go to prom. LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE ALONE.
• Holy crappola, these people go all out for the spring dance. My god. It’s not a wedding, people.
• Dylan doesn’t talk about “that stuff” when Steve mentions Dylan spending the whole night in a hotel room with Brenda. Um…awkward.
• Donna’s dress is, yes, Kelly, OUTRAGEOUS. She has a hoop for Pete’s sake.
• Uh-oh, Brenda and Kelly are wearing the same dress! Fashion no-no!
• Steve is SUPER butt-hurt that Kelly is taking Brandon.
• No, Kelly, vegetable corsages are NOT “totally hot.”
• BEST LINE EVER: Kelly: Brenda, I am a Spring Princess! Brenda: Kelly, I don’t give a damn.
• I mean seriously. Donna’s dress is ridiculous. Cute group prom pic though. Shame I didn’t go to my own.
• Oh yeah, and Andrea eats Ben & Jerry’s by herself and watches some Carrie knock-off called “Prom Nightmare.” Super cool. WHY ARE THEY FRIENDS WITH ANDREA?! Moment #2.
• OMGOMGOMG DONNA IS WEARING A GARTER. IS THAT FOR REAL?!
• Oh this is so hot. Brenda: She’s acting like this is her night or something! Dylan: Well, it’s not. It’s your night. In fact, it’s our night. [waves hotel room key in the air]
• Brandon doesn’t dance. I don’t know if this is a Brandon thing or a Jason Priestley thing, but they always make such a big deal out of it.
• Brenda’s super-nervous about having sex. That’s what happens when you have sex in high school, little girl.
• Dylan: Bren, we’re not going to be judging each other up there, we’re going to be enjoying each other.
• Sigh. Luke Perry is a dreamboat.
• Wow, Kelly’s really begging Brandon to go out with her. Excellent irony, Darren Starr.
• Steve’s acting like an asshole because everybody forgot his birthday. Steve just found out he’s adopted. Yawn.
• I can’t get over that Brandon is wearing radishes on his tux.
• Okay so the REAL reason Steve is pissed is because he confided this whole bombshell announcement of his adoption to her and she totally blew him off because tonight is her night to shine.
• Kelly wins Spring Queen. Hello, Captain Obvious.
• Who the hell is Brad Phillips? And why does he get a sceptre? They take their royal court waaaay too seriously.
• They have a DANCE-OFF. Winner gets a large pizza, two drinks, and the last dance with the Spring King/Queen. These bitches live in Beverly Hills and that’s the best prize they could come up with?! No wonder everybody’s upstairs having sex.
• Brenda, a standard-issue hotel room is not ”so beautiful.”
• WHY ARE THEY FRIENDS WITH ANDREA?! Moment #3. She falls asleep and dreams that she’s the chainsaw-wielding prom-goer with a grudge, and when she wakes up, she decides to borrow her mom’s “evening gown.” Andrea is supposed to be poor. Where does her mother go that would necessitate an evening gown? And should she really be spending money on gowns?
• Steve pulls out the big guns in attacking Kelly when she goes to apologize to him. Drugged mother, father she never sees but who supplies all her money, yaddah yaddah yaddah. He makes her cry though. He kind of is a jerk.
• Some woman wearing a dress that looks like it’s made out of plastic and LONG GLOVES is the judge for the dance contest.
• David only has one move. He wins the contest though. He’s such a little dweeb.
• Andrea’s mother’s “evening gown” looks like it could have been made out of curtains. So maybe she didn’t spend four weeks’ worth of paychecks on a “gown.”
• No, Brandon, Andrea does NOT look “absolutely gorgeous.” I hate when people throw around the words “beautiful” and “gorgeous.” Just because you’re dressed up doesn’t mean you’re good-looking. Sorry, but it’s true.
• Brenda and Kelly make up because now that Brenda’s had sex she’s over such childish arguments.
• David gets his dream come true - to dance with Kelly Taylor. Also, David is wearing one of those weird things that people on dude ranches wear instead of ties.
• Yes, Andrea, you are a geek.
• Man, all the ladies are mackin’ on Brandon tonight.
• Donna totally got the shaft. Bad date, bad dress.
• WHY ARE THEY FRIENDS WITH ANDREA?! Moment #4. In real high schools across America the Kelly Taylors are NOT friends with the Andrea Zuckermans.
• Oh, Dylan, you’re so introspective.
Man, that was good.
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