“A NIGHT TO REMEMBER” - Original Airdate: April 28, 1993
It’s Prom night at West Beverly and expectations are high; David plans to spend the night with Donna in a hotel, until she becomes very drunk.
- There’s this bizarre opening sequence of people dancing in, like, the 40s. This is supposedly vintage West Bev, with jazz music and everything. What were these producers thinking?
- Chokers, chokers galore!
- Oh yeah…Donna has a learning disorder…she never thought she would graduate.
- They got Cathy Dennis to play at prom? Who the eff is Cathy Dennis? I must have missed that lecture in 90s Femme Rock 101.
- Brandon wants to play poker on prom night. Brandon, don’t you have a gambling problem?
- WHY ARE THEY FRIENDS WITH ANDREA?! Moment #1. Why does Steve want Brandon to ask Andrea? WHY?!?!
- WHY ARE THEY FRIENDS WITH ANDREA?! Moment #2. Why does Andrea want to cover the school board meeting in the school paper? There were never any lame-ass articles like that in my school paper. Granted, I went to a private school and our school paper sucked (though supposedly won awards), but this sounds retarded.
- Oh, Mel Silver is so hip. He’s throwing a pre-prom party in his condo. In my day this was called pre-gaming, and this was held on a party bus with nobody over the age of 18.
- David ASSUMES Donna is going to fuck him on prom night. David, why, with that hair, would you assume that ANYONE would fuck you?
- Kelly and Dylan are sharing strawberries. Oh Spelling Entertainment, you are so terminally hip. I mean, are Beverly Hills teenagers really like this? I so want to return to high school and live in 90210.
- Kelly and Dylan also are going to San Francisco the weekend of prom. All I have to say is that my boyfriend and I were supposed to go to San Francisco for Thanksgiving and he broke up with me in October. Just saying.
- Why are Jim and Cindy featured in storylines? I feel nothing but uncomfortable when Cindy is paging through her yearbook, reminiscing about her prom.
- And also, Brandon doesn’t help when he comes in and schmoozes with his ‘rents. This is way too Leave It to Beaver.
- Yeah, Jim, people who smoke pot enter into psychosis and hallucinate in men’s restrooms. Happens to me all the time.
- WHAT is so bad with taking your sister to the prom, BRANDON?
- Yeah…Andrea shows up at the school board meeting. WHY ARE THEY FRIENDS WITH ANDREA?! Moment #3. Why is she there? Why does she care? She makes this big fuss about the dress code law being passed because it wasn’t on the agenda and they “were trying to pull [something] here.” Shut up, you vest-blazer-wearing bitch.
- Felice Martin makes her sophomore appearance on the show. That skank is about to become a regular player on the 90210 block. You can bet Jim and Cindy won’t take kindly to her.
- Andrea tries and fails to stop the dress code law being passed.
- Mega anti-drinking rules for prom. Um, why are they pissed about this? Shouldn’t this be expected? Isn’t this, like, the federal law? Drinking age 21, anyone?
- Brandon gets overlooked for Jordan Bonner. Damn equal opportunity.
- Felice Martin’s tailor hasn’t seen a waist as small as Donna’s since Vivian Leigh. That’s sick. Tori Spelling is sick thin. And what’s even sicker is that she DOESN’T look anorexic, just sick and small and thin. Sick. And gross.
- Felice Martin: This is prom night. I want you to go out and have a wonderful time! WHY DOES EVERYBODY CARE ABOUT PROM? I didn’t go to prom, for the record. Senior Cotillion, that’s another story.
- Tony the Blonde Freak tells Brandon he’s gonna ask Brenda to the prom. Brandon, obviously, is shocked.
- Brenda doesn’t need much convincing. I’m sure she was just looking for any date - she just wanted to have fun.
- Donna’s gonna have sex with David.
- Oh yeah…Gil Myers tooks a chance on Dylan and let him into AP English the last 2 months of the school year. Why does this make a difference? You have to apply to college by January.
- WHY ARE THEY FRIENDS WITH ANDREA?! Moment #4. Andrea, we do not believe that you actually are concerned for the people who will be drinking at prom.
- Brenda has a hot dress.
- Kelly has a cool mom.
- Donna is sick skinny.
- And Felice Martin is a freak. Who wants to wear a Celtic cross with their prom dress?
- Oh, I totally know where on Doheny David’s dad’s condo is supposed to be.
- Donna has like half a glass of champagne. That’s like two sips.
- Brandon gets to go with Andrea because Jordan Bonner is sick. Surprise surprise.
- Nat went to Fairfax High! So did Anthony Kiedis, the love of my life!
- Yeah, Steve’s weird girlfriend Celeste. That’s all I have to say.
- WHY IS EVERYBODY SO CAUTIOUS ABOUT DRINKING?! Man, I miss the days of moralistic teen soaps.
- Uhhh…ummm…I love you, Bren, but…you look like Cher. Why is your hair so curly?
- Donna has a glass of champagne. This brings her total on screen to 1.5.
- Mel, you photographer, you.
- Let’s hear it for the Class of ‘93, guys!
- Okay, Steve swipes a bottle. He also says to their limo driver, DRIVER!
- Okay, Donna is clearly stone cold sober right now in the limo.
- Yeah, they’re kind of making me wish I went to prom. KIND OF.
- Oh wow, David, what a scene.
- Brandon, you’re such a ham.
- The party favors: a disposable camera, a quarter for calling a cab in case you get drunk, and a condom from the math club.
- Donna is suddenly drunk. We saw her take one sip of champagne. WHICH IS NOT EVEN THAT ALCOHOLIC.
- Cathy Dennis…great…who the eff are you?
- Brenda is hung up on Kelly and Dylan. OBVI. Are you retarded, Tony?
- Suddenly three glasses of champagne over a few hours have caught up to Donna. Whoa, there, Nelly!
- Why is Celeste wearing a scarf like some kind of freak?
- TORI SPELLING. IS. SICK. THIN.
- Donna. You are not drunk. I’ve had a bottle of wine and two bowls tonight and I’m only sort of under the influence.
- Celeste is so big. She wants Steve to dance with Kelly, for old times’ sake. She’s such a swell girl.
- I wish I had relationships with guys in high school. Damn you, 90210, you’re the high school experience I never had.
- Oooh, Brenda and Dylan are dancing. Sigh. I miss them.
- Donna’s obviously been in the bathroom for two hours, and she is STILL absolutely wasted. This story line is soooo not believable.
- Errr, Gil dances with Mrs. Teasly. Uhh, I didn’t hear that.
- Tori does play a great drunk girl
- Tony Miller wanted to fuck Brenda!!!
- WHY ARE THEY FRIEND WITH ANDREA?! Moment #5. She pretends to be Priscilla Presley. I want to vomit.
- Oh damn, this is when Brandon and Andrea almost have sex. Oh shit. ANDREA IS THE ONE WHO SUGGESTS IT.
- Seriously though, Tori Spelling is a great drunk girl. But why don’t they take her straight up to the room David booked? They take her to the limo, that’s really stupid.
- Damn. Donna falls down right in front of Mrs. T. Who suddenly turns into a super bitch.
- Although really, Donna should not be drunk AT ALL.
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